Tuesday, March 31, 2009

moto to live by

"Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much life. Aim above morality. Be not simply good; be good for something."

Henry David Thoreau

This man was a genius and I adore ever utterance that came from his all-knowing lips.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Expericening Culture

This weekend I had the pleasure of being able to attend the Festival of Colours, also Knows as "Holi." Holi rings in the being of Spring, and the end/ start of the Hare Krishna yearly calender. It's a 3 day affair, jam packed full of exciting and mind blowing exhibits. There are dancers, an array of food, concerts, a ceremonial burning of an effigy, you can bedazzle your forehead in the typical Krishna Style, you can tour the Temple, and people hawk cheap paper umbrellas and fans at you, there is even a petting zoo including Lama's and tiny bulls/oxen named Zebu's (or something like that)and the end all be all throwing of colors/ dance party. It's basically a Bangladesh bazaar, held in good ol' Spanish Fork, which is smack dab in the middle of Utah.

Hare Krishna, as I understand it, is closely related to Hinduism. They are extremely polite, passive people, who know how to throw a shockingly good celebration. I didn't get to go in to the temple, but I'm planning on it next, I wish I could have spent all day there soaking up the Hare ways, but alas we made it just in time for the pigment battle. Which is the climax of this whole shindig.

let the games commence!

Rachael and moi embracing our new found Eastern enlightenment

Battle wounds, or badges of honor?

Lambchop and friends.

I'm near positive that the dye was cut with asbestos. I, being a pansy, could not breath for about 2 solid minutes, and have had cold like symptoms since returning home, this is including a head ache. (My warrior like companion i.e. Rachael, has also had complains of such ailments.) I defiantly inhaled enough to be in leagues with Tony Montana, I know this for a fact... Thus, once again, reverting back to Wikipedia to help me, I found this tantalizing tid bit.

"Natural colours

The spring season, during which the weather changes, is believed to cause viral fever and cold. Thus, the playful throwing of natural coloured powders has a medicinal significance: the colours are traditionally made of Neem, Kumkum, Haldi, Bilva, and other medicinal herbs prescribed by Āyurvedic doctors. A special drink called thandai is prepared, sometimes containing bhang (Cannabis sativa). Unfortunately the commercial aspect of celebration has led to an increase in the use of synthetic colours which, in some cases, may be toxic.

Synthetic colours

As the Spring-blossoming trees that once supplied the colours used to celebrate Holi have died, chemically produced industrial dyes have been utilized to take their place in almost entire urban India. In 2001, a fact sheet was published by the groups Toxics link and Vatavaran based in Delhi on the chemical dyes used in the festival.[3] They found safety issues with all three forms in which the Holi colours are produced: pastes, dry colours and water colours.

In investigating the pastes, they found toxic chemicals with potentially severe health impacts. The black pastes were found to contain lead oxide which can result in renal failure. Two colors were found to be carcinogenic: silver, with aluminium bromide, and red, with mercury sulphate. The prussian blue used in the blue paste has been associated with contact dermatitis, while the copper sulphate in the green has been documented to cause eye allergy, puffiness and temporary blindness.[4]

The colourant used in the dry colours, also called gulals, was found to be toxic, with heavy metals causing asthma, skin diseases and temporary blindness. Both of the commonly used bases—asbestos or silica—are associated with health issues.[5]

They reported that the wet colours might lead to skin discolouration and dermatitis due to their use of colour concentrate gentian violet.

Lack of control over the quality and content of these colours is a problem, as they are frequently sold by vendors who do not know their origin.

Playing a Natural Holi in PuneThe report galvanized a number of groups into promoting more natural celebrations of Holi. Development Alternatives, Delhi and Kalpavriksh,[6] Pune and The CLEAN India campaign[7] have both launched campaigns to help children learn to make their own colours for Holi from safer, natural ingredients. Meanwhile, some commercial companies such as the National Botanical Research Institute have begun to market "herbal" dyes, though these are substantially more expensive than the dangerous alternatives. However, it may be noted that many parts of rural India have always resorted to natural colours (and other parts of festivities more than colours) due to availability reasons.

I'm dying. The Festival of Beautifully Tinted Anthrax has killed me. Pathetically, I would do it again.

I still think that's its pretty amusing that about 4-5,000 people were there, 94% of which where LDS, and had no idea what they were doing. I myself, Wikepedia-ed to give my self a lil background. But hey, if you can throw powder dye in strangers eyes, dance to Mantra Chants as if it was a rave, and call the act "cultured," more power to ya.


Friday, March 27, 2009


I have a an increasing obsession/ love with shoes. Not just your run of the mill, fancy pair of heels, or even Chuck Taylors in a limited addition color. I love all shoes and I feel like its getting out of hand.

I feel my wardrobe is... classic. I have unique pieces and all, but some would take classic for boring, unimaginative even. Loud colors, patterns, and prints are just not my style. Even to go out dancing, when everyone is in neon spandex and amazing technicolored dream coats, I almost always stick with black, white, gray, and if I'm feeling extra saucy, red. Rarely do I differ from this mono-toned spectrum. But it's working for me.

Now, my colorless closet doesn't really fit my personality. Let me take a second to toot my own horn, but I'm highly opinionated, witty, eclectic, and inappropriate (to say the least.) How did I end up so void of tint or hue? Simply, shoes.

Shoes are my outlet. My ma gave me a letter right before I left the nest. Besides being filled with sentiments of love and anguish because her favorite daughter was flying away, there was a paragraph of warning and heed. The words of wisdom went something to the effect of "....don't go to 7-11's after midnight, there are 750 calories in a single piece of Costco pizza, and never spend your grocery money on shoes."

Well, live and learn. Guilty of doing all of thee above, in fact im a repeat offeneder.

My dearest friend Rachael comes over on an average of 2 to 3 times a week to help me shed this Pillsbury Doughboy look, that I got going on. (he's luminescent white and very squishy.) Rachael is a personal trainer and a class instructor for Les Mills, so I feel like I have got a shot for swimsuit season this year. So 2 nights ago she came over rockin some Nike Dunks. That was the end of it. I have seen her wear them before but this time is was different. So now I am on the hunt.

I have wanted high top Chucks forever, but I could never bring my self to get them. I have a height issue, Being 5'1 its an extremely tricky task. I spent roughly 1.5 hours last night creating a custom pair of dunks on Nike.com. But now I have found them. The ultimate pair of high tops that I would kill to have.... they are made by ASH, go figure, and they are my dream.

"Vigo" Mixed Media High-Top Sneakers

"Venus" Perforated Hi-Top Sneakers.

I heart these, and am considering blowing off my bodies necessity to feed, to have them.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Advocate for Vocational College

Here is a brief history of my educational training.

High School Diploma- 2007
Completion of Academy of Early Childhood Development and Education- 2007
Seminary Diploma from the LDS Church- 2007
Graduation from Beauty College- 2007
Received Cosmetology licencing- 2007/2008
and about 12 college credits from high school.

School and me has never really gotten along, its not that I don't like it. I just don't like busy work, now some people can buckle down and deal with it, but I was never one to bite the bit. I just didn't want to waste my time doing nothing, poor attitude I know, but hey, it's not for everyone I would say I am extremely intelligent in nothing that would ever prosper me in life, and I am proud of it. I have an extensive knowledge of foods and there nutrition, many aspects of history, anything to do with hair and of the skin. I can name all the capitals in the USA, and I have a good insight on fraud investigation, and the inner workings of big business. I also have the uncanny ability of being able to watch a movie once and remember more the 87 % (rough estimate) of it and to be able to quote it. As well as being able to read peoples character, and to detect lying shockingly accurate (I almost always know your lying, but I rarely point it out with out having hard evidence to back me up.... but I know). I am encyclopedia of useless knowledge that I find immensely handy.

Clearly 2007 was a good year for me. Unfortunately it is the year 2009 currently, and I have nothing to show for the last 2 years of my life. I like to say I have been in "Personal Study." I personally get to pick what and when I study, and I kinda like it that way, I have read some fantastic books in the last 2 years, and Wikipedia is my favorite website. It's not that I haven't learned anything in the last passing years, just no letter grades for "The Man" saying I have had proper training. I burnt my self out on the whole, structured educational system. I'm taking "five" as some would say.

But no more shall this be. I decided last week I shall be attending Culinary Art School in the upcoming fall. This decision actually only took me about 15 minutes to make, and 5 minutes to confirm with my mother and get the green light (I think she's just excited that I actually decided something educational wise, or she likes that there are prospects for her bakery she has wanted since I was 8. She even has a location all picked out already for it. One or the other she's all in).

I have also come up with a short list of everything I would like to do. It goes as follows-

-Go to Culinary Art School
-Go to Interior Design Program
-Possibly Architecture Degree? Maybe just some classes well see.
-Take Photography Classes (not that crap photoshop junk everyone is hawking with a digital camera, what a joke. I want the raw stuff, with 35 mm film black and white, developed in a dark room on enlargers, real photography, but only for my own personal enjoyment.I will have a shed of some sort in my back house that will serve as my developing studio and what not, it will be fantastic.)
- Learn to speak French fluently and keep it this time.
-Learn to make jewelry. (My sick Aunt Darcy and Uncle Wes have made my mom sweet rings and stuff, and I love them. So I feel the need to learn. I never buy jewelry, how dull is that, bought jewelry has never appealed to me. I only wear things from my grandmothers, It's got to have a story behind it. So if I make it I think that would validate its wearablity.)
-Take "Make Up Forever" Classes in Paris, 9 month program. (it cost a pretty penny, so that might take a while)
- Learn to sew exquisitely
- Take an upholsterer class
- Learn how to make stain glass ( My aunt Darcy can also do this, and I have always been so envious.)
- learn an instrument, preferably piano or the Chello, stand up Base would be cool.

I said short so I'll cut it off there, but there's more.

But lets start that the very begining. Cooking school next year. The way I see it is, everyones hair will grow, and everyone has to eat. I'll never be out of a job!

First Day of School.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Victim of Marketing

Gullible isn't what I would call it. Extremely hopeful and trusting is more like it. Reverting back to my childhood days, to the glowing box who held my coveted 7 channels, I resorted to infomercials. One could only watch Pete the Magic Dragon and The Little Mermaid so many times, everyone has their limit.

Infomercials kept me entertained for hours, they still do actually. I asked for a Jack Lalanne Power Juicer for the last two year for Christmas (yet still didn't get it). I am an avid believer in the "Set it and Forget it, Rotisserie Roaster" and the "Mouse, Ab Roller". It looks like it will actually work, if it was regularly used after purchasing.

Here's were it all began.... with The Banjo Minnow. It came out in 1996 that would make me 6 going on 7. Basically Cabela's put on a fishing commercial worth a solid 2 hours of my young life, and I probably sat through it over 10 times over the course of a few years. I knew it by heart, I could quote it all, and I would sing the theme song while riding my sherbet colored bike down the street. I BEGGED my mother, as if it was a life saving kidney transplant. Have I ever been fishing? No. Is my father an avid fisherman, yet left me behind? No. Does anyone in extended Family fish? Nada. So where did this obsession in a 6 year old stem from? The man, Babe Winkelman, the man with the vest and skiff, the host of "Good Fishing" and the Banjo Minnow Creator.Babe said it would work, and I believed him. ohh I believed him as if it was doctrine. And I had to get my hands on one. The Banjo Minnow consumed my tinny, perfectly spherical head from morning till night.

I never did get my Banjo Minnow Fishing lure, and I looked on there website just today and it stated-
"DM Products, Inc. (PINKSHEETS: DMPD), which has the exclusive marketing rights to the Banjo Minnow Fishing Lure System, announced today that Banjo Minnow sales for the 3rd quarter for 2007 have increased approximately 123% as compared to the previous 2nd quarter of 2007."
I could have been one of those statistics!

Anyways, I moved on to bigger and better things. I finally talked my mom into buying something off the TV when I was 9. It was a stain remover of some sorts and I'm pretty sure bubbles was in the name. Sadly, it didn't work, confirming my mother suspension of products hawked on TV, and sealing my fate of never purchasing something from an infomercial again.

Fast forward to now-
The Smooth Away has been bouncing around from station to station for some time now. Interupting my regular shows, but with no complaints, I was curious. I could say I was always perplexed by how this accomplishment was met with no pain. Being trained in the form of waxing and all other systems of hair removal, I couldn't see how it was possible... For some reason or another, they sell Smooth Away in Target, once again you have never failed me yet, my dearest upscale supermarket. So naturally I bought one, for 10 dollars you would too! Don't judge me... Then booked it home and took my new item for a test run... IT WORKED! IT WORKED FANTASTIC. I immediately texted everyone I knew who would take an interest in this, i.e. Phillipi and Heesch. it was incredible I cant lie, I love the smooth away, all in all its just a really fine grade sandpaper, but it still works.

And once again I am a sucker for pictures, I can't even order food from a menu with out pictures, I always just take our host advice if there are none provided. So now MAC cosmetics emails, and they just launched thier SugarSweet line of makeup.... and I just had too. I can't help myself, it all looks to cute, so the deed is done, and a fun package is coming in the mail to me full of pigment treats.

How could I say no? I'm only human

I'm a sucker for a good conspiracy

Ever since I was a wee lass, I have loved conspiracy theory's. Not that I fully ever believe them, but there just to fun to ignore. The invention of Youtube, has made this even easier for me to feed my need to know the "unknown truth" about Humanity. Obviously the History Channel and the Discovery Channel are on the top 5 list of TV stations. There up there with Arrested Development, House MD, Gossip Girl and 30 Rock. (I'm aware that make 6, but no one would say top 6, get real)

When I was a youngin we had four, tops seven, TV stations, and one was good ol' PBS. I can trace back to these developing days and know this is when it all began. I watched a whole 2 hours on Yettie's and Sasquatches and thus explained to all my friends at church that Big Foot was actually Kane, or one of the people who hold the Guinness Book of world records for begging the hairiest man in the world, not the missing link. Then I watched one on Crop Circles. I conclude, after begging fully educated in the field by my public station friends, that this was a matter of fact... they did exist. I insisted to my parents we go and visit my uncle and cousin farm. I never did tell them why I wanted to go so badly, but I pestered them for years about it. I was a very secretive child. When we Finally did go, I got chased by wild dogs on a quad, made home made ice cream (tutti Fruitti no less), and went "ditch swimmin." In were, we swam fully clothed, or at least in big T Shirts in the irrigation ditches. I also saw multitudes of spawn from the "Pharaoh Cat family." Clearly I got distracted by this rural playground of sorts, and did not have time to conduct my in dept investigation of said circles, can you blame me though? Ditch swimmin was on the agenda!

I even started coming up with my own theory's and was good at it. I conceived plots of why and how, fool proof evidence would be collected, and I knew I was never wrong. I watch a program on Australia, in which they discussed the wild dog problem with Dingos. I in turn, reveled it to my next door neighbors that he, in fact, was the owner of a wild Dingo and in the near future Oakley's dog would stop playing so "nice" and revert back to his bush ways. If I remember correctly, he was crying when I was done exposing the truth. When I gave my closing arguments of my case "This all happened because you got your bike stolen. Your parents are trying to teaching you a lesson to lock it in the garage like they told you. They said you got the Dog to make you feel better about not having a bike... We'll now we know the truth don't we." In my defence, his dog looked identical to a Dingo. Even my parents admitted that.

It's true, I was a fabricator of lies... and I was good at it. Now I have moved on to more sophisticated matters, no more armature hour, now we are in the big show. Here is just a small list that fascinates me, and has my scouring the interweb for answers.

Oak Island (The Money Pit)



Bohemian Club/ Grove

USO (no not the United Service Organisation, Unidentified Submerged Objects)


The 2012 Theory

The Hollow Earth theory (this is the dumbest one, but this guy is convinced its real, its hysterical)

oh and many more, to many more.

But lets go to Oak Island. It my favorite.

I lay in my bed, almost on a weekly basis, for hours thinking about Oak Island. I think it drives my so insane because no one knows... Not even your typical sad nut job, the ones that devises all this theory's in his 57 year old mother house basement, who watches SciFi on TV and play W.O.W, has come out with anything. Which should make us all nervous. If they've got nothing, what chance do we have?


if you have 10 minutes to spar, why not take a peek huh? you don't need those extra hours of sleep. This is my favorite website for oak island. It truly boggles the mind.

I have already decided that if there is a Question and Answer hour is heaven, Oak island is my first I'll ask.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

oh how the mighty have fallen, and I reap all the benifits

We are in a recession, or so the word on that street has been for some time now. I heard on the radio today that the beauty industry is the first thing to go in such times. So you can imagine how ecstatic I am about this one. I guess when money gets spars, the struggling decided to shave their own legs instead of me doing it for them. go figure.

Clearly we are all struggling, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Big businesses are going under like Circuit City and Mervyns, but that just clears the way for little, better company's to rise up. Plus I get fantastic Discounts at these "we're floundering to stay a float" sales. I bought my favorite pair of Levis for 20 clams, and a pack of 20 burnable CD's for 5 dollars! And now Dillards has a Nordstroms rack kinda thing going on by my grandmas house. See the economy tanking can't be all that bad right? right?

We'll drastic times call for drastic measures, and Alexander McQueen has done just that. He has just launch his new line at Target.

Target, my favorite step up from Walmart, Target. I can tell you I'm a bit more than curious about this whole idea of one stop shop of, pasta sauce, on sale Christmas oredimints, egg coloring, paper goods and Alexander McQueen emsablm. Thank you Alex, we many have a tough year or 5 ahead, but I'll look smashing.

Friday, March 20, 2009

How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.

-Henry David Thoreau

Today I gave in. I have created a Blog officially. This has been something I have been meaning to do for a while. I was reluctant to do so for one, I have terrible typing skills and I am an extremely poor speller. But when I learned that spell check was included... well, that just gave me the green light. So here I am, and here you are, please enjoy my stream of consciousness and thought process for the duration of your reading.

Here is a little background reading to catch you up to speed in my life so far. I am a hair stylist. I have one brother named hudson. I have recently stopped biting my nails after 17 years of doing so. i have come to realize both my parents live super secret successful lives that i knew nothing about until about 8 months ago. I am a dog lover, and an Aquarius. I am a member of the LDS church. I have helped 4 people get engaged in the last 6 months. I love shoes more than clothes. I am extremely impulsive, realistic, and can retain useless information amazingly well. the term "blindly optimistic" has been used to describe me. Freud would say I have an oral fixation and i must be chewing on something constantly, and this has rapidly becoming more of a problem since the nixing of the nail biting. I love tiny nick knacks and treats. I'm not a fan of Disney land even though I live 25 minutes from it for my than 3/4's my entire life. I can not stand people who have no copping ability's, nor ignorance in the least. Most everything I say is a quote from somewhere or someone, I'm really not that witty. The happiest times are the ones with family and fresh flowers and foods displayed on cake plates.